How much time have you given to thinking about what you REALLY want in life?

At the weekend I delivered a personal growth workshop and one of the exercises I gave the participants was to pair off and ask each other about their dreams. They had 7 minutes to talk about what they want in life.
For some, they ran out of things to say in a couple of minutes but, when the other person started asking them more questions suddenly the flood gates opened and at the end of the time they still had so much more to say.

We are used to only thinking about what we are doing now or in the immediate future and only the things that seem achievable; but by spending just 7 minutes being asked questions about what we really want and thinking deeper we can discover more than we knew existed.


Another common experience is that people keep their dreams in their head; they don’t speak them out or write them down for fear of being ridiculed. They may have a secret desire, but it stays hidden.
This is a mistake. It holds you back and makes it really unlikely you will ever get what you really want.

When you WRITE THINGS DOWN it changes something inside; it makes it more real. Simply putting a few words on a piece of paper brings something to life that was previously only lost among thousands of other thoughts; it is there for you to see.

When you TELL SOMEONE ELSE you begin to open yourself up; by taking that small risk of them thinking you are silly it can begin a chain reaction that will lead you to the future that you would love to live into.

WHEN YOU SPEAK about your dreams you also start to define them in a much more focused way. Articulating what was previously only held deep inside changes it and the more you talk about it the more you discover what it is about it that you want and that enables you to start creating a path towards it.

These simple things are first steps on a long journey.

Without them, you will most likely continue on the path laid out for you; the one you can see and you can touch right now.
“you have been down that road before. You know where it leads”

If you want to get a deeper perspective on what you want, you can do this with a friend:


Set a timer for 7 minutes and then:

Get your friend to ask you 2 questions:

1. What do you want?

When you have said everything that comes to mind, he/she can ask the next question:

2. What else do you want?

The second question can be asked as many times as possible until you have nothing left to say.

Your friend’s job is to listen and write down the exact language you use i.e. if you say “exciting”, she must write down “exciting”, not “thrilling”, if you say “incredible” she must write down that word and not “amazing”.
The exact language you use is unique to you and will have a deeper emotional response than any other words.

When you have finished, your friend gives that to you and you have your first visual representation of what you really want in your own words.

When you know where you want to go, it is so much easier to start taking your first step.

That is just 7 minutes. You could do this for as long as you want; the more time you spend the better.

When you have your dream written down, and if you are unsure as to what to do next, send it to me and I will offer you a challenge that will help you start making it happen. Email:

Watch the video clip. Your friend won’t need the gun!