Once in a Lifetime Opportunity Missed Part 1
Every moment of every day we each have a choice to live from our hearts or to hold back; to be brave or be the cowardly lion.
For a long time now I have been purposefully learning, growing and finding new ways to change and develop myself; to overcome my fears and do things that I never used to think possible. This past year in particular I have been doing some deep inner work that is often painful but always rewarding. I keep going deeper and it is like I am peeling back an onion; just when I think I am done, there is another layer to peel.
In the last few months I have done so many things that terrify me; like giving a talk to a packed room of people and saying no to coaching an Olympic Athlete because it just didn’t feel right. The first one scared me because I had thoughts of “who am I to be doing this” (there was a time where I couldn’t even be in the room with that many people), the second because it could have been a great opportunity for my coaching career and “who am I to say no?”. In both cases I went with my intuition and now know they were the best decisions I could have made.
I went to a training day yesterday, where one of the best coaches in the world, Rich Litvin, was giving a talk on deep coaching, I went there feeling excited and a little scared. Excited to be learning from someone who I see as the pinnacle of my profession and scared at the possibility that I may be coached in front of the room; I filled out a form before giving some info about me and what I want to create and I had a sense that because my dreams are so big and I am so awesome ((try to hold back your laugh!)) that he would think “this is a guy I want to coach”, but it didn’t work out that way. Not only did I not speak to my dreams, but I discovered that I really am not as great or as evolved as I thought I was.
At the start he asked a question, what would make this day amazing? He then asked people to tell him so that he could choose where to go to give us the best experience possible. This was it! It was my chance to be honest and get what I really want from him, but I felt myself freeze; my heart was pounding in my chest, the old feelings of “I don’t want to be seen” kept coming up; I felt myself shrink.
I didn’t raise my hand. I felt scared and instead of just doing it anyway, I let others speak while I kept quiet. I allowed myself to be part of the crowd; to hide. Then, when one of the people who didn’t let fear stop them spoke, he invited her up to the front where he coached her powerfully.
I had a chance to say what I really wanted to say. He may have chosen to coach me or not, but because I kept my hand down, because I stayed in my seat, I never got to find out. I didn’t get in the game and missed a chance that I will never have again.
Every moment happens only once so, why the hell didn’t I make the most of that one? Why did I allow myself to be a victim?
I was scared, really scared! What if we went somewhere that I didn’t expect, what if he challenges me on something and my emotions overwhelm me; what if I cry?
I know the power of coaching; my coach helps me change my world and it is that ability to help people go to places inside them that they don’t know exist; to connect to their power, to release their deepest fears so they can start living into things that they never allowed themselves to even fantasise about before. That is why I love being a coach and why I want to be one of the best in the world. I want to impact people so profoundly that their world changes and then they go out in the world and start affecting it in their way.
I have tasted it, I have impacted people deeply and changed how they see the world and what they are doing in the world. Now, I want more, much more!
I want to change the world one powerful conversation at a time!
If I am really going to do that I need to stop hiding, stop holding back; allow myself to be as scared as I am and do what my heart guides me towards anyway. It won’t be easy and I will resist it, but I am committed to do it and catching myself when I don’t.
I have a lot of work to do because I never want to hide amongst the crowd again; I don’t want to shy away and be small. I have done that for too much of my life and I am done!!!!!
Have you let an opportunity slip from your grasp like I did? How are you making sure it doesn’t happen again? Comment below!