You Always Have a Choice – Yes, Always!
Whatever your circumstances you always have a choice.
What you have been doing today, you did because you chose to.
Even if it is something you don’t want to do. Even if you are doing it because someone you work for expects you to do it.
I coach people to face their fears and live their passion and I still have a full time job. I have large bills and people who count on me, so I am building a platform for myself that I can leap from. Right now, this means that there are things that I do in my day that are not my priorities.
Sometimes I get caught up in my dislike of a mundane task and I resent that I am doing it. I ask “Why should I have to do this?” and then I dream of a time when I won’t, when I will only do what I really want to do, but I am getting lost in fantasy and it is a lie.
There are 2 parts to this: The first is that I don’t have to do anything, ever, and the second is that even when my days are fully self created, I will still have stuff to do that I don’t want.
The truth is that every moment of every day I am doing everything because I choose to. I may not have chosen it directly, or I did a very long time ago and am now doing it out of habit, but if I stop to think for a moment there is still a choice:
I could say no. I could do something else. I could renegotiate. I could walk away.
Now, the consequences of me making another choice may not be something that I am willing to experience yet, but I always have a choice, and so do you.
That gives us power.
When you realise you are in charge of your choices and go about your day choosing to do every little thing, then you are always in a position to see other opportunities, other choices. What can seem static when you are coming from a place of “having to”, can seem so much more fluid when you are coming from a place of “choosing to”.
A great example of this is when I was having a conversation with a friend. He is a really decent guy and we did a lot of training together back in my NLP days. A lot of time has passed since then and I called him to see how he was doing. We had a great conversation and he was asking about the potential for me to coach him around some things that were holding him back and so I started to explore what life was like for him and see whether I could help.
It was going well and I started to get an idea of what could make the difference for him; it was around his job. He said he hated it and wanted to change and so I asked him what other jobs he had looked for; he said none, that he knew he couldn’t get a job that paid the same and so it wasn’t worth looking. I then asked him about what else he wants to do and he spoke of 3 or 4 things he does on the side that he is mildly interested in but he showed no passion about them and no idea of how he could turn them into a successful career.
During all this, something became clear; that he was very unhappy with himself and spent the majority of every day feeling crappy. He said his job was easy and that he spent a lot of time drinking tea and chatting with people or sitting in his car.
I have a belief that
“How you do one thing is how you do everything”
I am paraphrasing a quote from somewhere and it speaks true for me. So, every day he was wasting time or doing a very basic job, he was also doing this elsewhere in his life and it was keeping him stuck; it was affecting his ability to even consider other options. So, I suggested that tomorrow he goes into work and does the best job he has ever done. He becomes the no.1 employee that company has ever had and that is how he starts to show up every day. He looks for how he can add value to everything he does and becomes the person he wants to be inside of his current job and then as his power starts to grow; he will feel better and be able to see more and more opportunities and then create them!
He didn’t see it that way, he said these words to me “I don’t want to give them anything else”.
There was no way I could even think about offering him coaching; he wasn’t willing to see things differently and wasn’t willing to do things differently; that is the essence of coaching and transformation. I wanted to help him, but he wasn’t willing to do anything with my help.
I get why he felt disgruntled; he felt he was worth more, that he had so much potential and it was being wasted: and he was right. What he didn’t understand was that the only person wasting it was him.
What are you doing today that you don’t like or begrudge doing?
What might happen if you were to realise you decided to do that? What if you never have to do anything again unless you choose to?
Choice gives you energy. The more you realise the choices you are making the more energised you will feel and the more variety and opportunity will appear.
Be powerful……..keep choosing!!
Do you want to explore how you can start seeing things differently to transform something in your life? If so, I’d love to hear from you. Message me below or email me here: firstname.lastname@example.org
You can visit my “What is Deep Coaching?” page on my website to find out more about how it might work: http://www.davidsaville.co.uk/what-is-deep-coaching